This page was created to post anything that didn't quite fit on the other pages. At this time, it only holds poems Karen has written. To read her short stories go to the "Book" page and click on the links at the end of "I'm Not Like You" Enjoy!
The Dog Has to Pee
The dog said, "Hey mom, I gotta go pee", I said, "In a minute, I'm busy as you can see." So he sat on the floor next to my feet, and I just forgot, the dog had to pee.
So as the poor dog sat there so patiently, I did all the things that were important to me. Now and then I thought I heard a small sound, but it wasn't important, I didn't look down.
As I finished each chore, I'd pat his head, "I'll take you out soon, I promise", I said. And he'd wiggle his tail and smile at me, and sweetly say "But I gotta' go pee."
Then all of a sudden an odor hit the air, and it made me jump right out of my chair. Now with cleaners and rags I'm on my knees, and my dog is looking sheepishly at me.
I know he was thinking "Watch her ignore me, I know she knows that I have to pee. I'm gonna' burst, should I scratch on the door? She'll have a fit if I go on the floor.
I know she'll be mad but I can wait no more, I'll show her -- I'll poop on the floor. Maybe next time she'll let me out faster, now she knows whose really the master!"
--with input from Donnie
The Wrong Path
She said, "I don't understand, my eyes are blue, My hair is blonde, I look just like you." But they said, "Oh no, you're different somehow, you won't stay on the path, you just won't bow."
She said, "But why can't I just walk this way, and meet you at the top of the hill some day?" They said, "They don't want you on that hill over there, and if you leave you can't come back here."
They said, "If you stay, we'll make room for you, but if you go you must know that we're through. Although you are different, we will let you stay, but just on the edge, not the center of play."
So she hung her head, and looked down the lane, she talked and she talked, trying to explain. "You can walk down here, and I'll walk down there, We'll meet in the middle, have so much to share."
They said, "You're so different, its best if you go, But you can't come back, the gate will close." So with great sadness she started her trek, But she couldn't help it, she kept looking back.
She knew they were wrong and it would be ok, She'd walk this path and just meet them one day. Their path was crowded and she couldn't breathe, This new path was empty, but where did it lead?
Each path led to two different sides of a hill, Each day she struggled to climb higher still. The longer she walked, the more scared she became, What had she done, she'd never be the same.
She met some strange people on this new road, They didn't really want her and told her so. But she vowed to prove she was as good as them, She'd show them all, somehow she'd win.
No longer of the old, but not of the new, where would she be when this was all through? The new didn't want her but she couldn't go home, She just resigned herself to being alone.
She was living in limbo, she never belonged, She lived in a house that was never a home. They treated her like one would a slave, And said "You can stay, as long as you behave."
So she stayed and worked, and she obeyed them, They made sure she kept her light dim. She was waiting, but for what she didn't know, She just sensed she had someplace else to go.
Then the day came and she got up the nerve, She walked down the hill and rounded the curve. She could see both groups on the hills above, She couldn't reach either, not even with love.
She made herself a bed inside a small cave, And nobody was there to scream for her to behave. She would just rest here until it was time, To go to that place she just couldn't find.
So with a deep sadness and feeling so alone, She closed her eyes and whispered "I want to go home." Suddenly the whole valley was covered in light, She was being lifted, like a bird in flight.
She was gently placed in a glorious place, With others just like her, a smile on their face. They said, "Come inside, this is where you belong, We've been waiting for you, all along."
Moral: Stay home. Or leave.
Valentine's Date
I had a big date on Valentine's Day, a very important date, one might say. You see, I'd tried three times before, and never made it to this gal's door.
Each date I'd make, a tragedy would occur, and always stop me from getting to her. She had warned me, enough is enough, Don't show this time and things will get rough.
I was so excited, what can happen this time? The farm chores are done, things will be fine. I knew I'd finally get to be with her now, Then I remembered -- I hadn't milked the cow!
So with my bucket in my hand, I headed outside, And that damned old cow kicked me right in the side. I laid on the ground unable to breathe, No, no, not again--she'll never believe!
In pain I arose and got ready somehow, Not even broken ribs can stop this date now. I showed at her door and she let me inside, She wouldn't see me wince--I had my pride!
As the night wore on she began to sense, That something was wrong, I was stiff as a fence. So I told her the story and it made her sad, But touched that I'd come when feeling so bad.
But instead of the love I thought she would show, She said, "That cow knows something I don't know. Maybe I'm a gal you should never get near, Something bad happens when you try to come here."
So with a heavy heart I headed back home, Doggone it, now I'll spend another night alone. But wait, the cow's still here, could this be her fate? I might be alone again tonight, but I'm gonna' have me a big steak!
Could Be
I said “I’m in love with you,
Do you feel that way too?”
She just smiled and said,
“Could be.”
I said on our wedding day,
“Will it always be this way?”
She just smiled and said,
“Could be.”
Chorus:
Could be, could be, coullllddd beeee.
I said, “Are you telling me,
That soon we’ll be three?”
She just smiled and said,
“Could be.”
Now with tears in my eyes,
I said “Is this our last goodbye?”
She looked down and whispered,
“Could be.”
Repeat chorus
Now I live here alone,
In what once was a home.
Left alonehere to wonder,
How could this be?
Repeat chorus twice.
Listen to My Heart
My heart kept saying it was time to go, but I didn't want to hear, It said it had other places to be, But I just wanted to stay here.
I'm afraid I can't explain just why, I didn't want to go with my heart, There were more reasons to go than to stay, I guess it didn't want a new start.
My heart was tired and needed a rest, before it takes on its new role. But whatever role it takes on next, My heart is bound with my soul.
So when my heart appears to you again, my soul will be there too. You may not remember the earthly me, but I'll remember you.
And now its time and we have to go, I have to listen to my heart. But don't be sad because you know, we are never ever apart.
The Christmas Ornament
On Christmas eve I left my shack, To cut down a tree from the back. I had no gifts to bring to them, but I could get a tree for them to trim.
What would be on this lonely tree I thought, Then something glittered and my eye was caught, there in the snow was a glint of gold, a small gold cross my eyes did behold.
A little gold cross, so shiney and bright, the only trimming on our tree--on Christmas night.
When I got home they were waiting for me, so anxious to see their new Christmas tree. They all stood around it looking so forlorn, no trimmings to hang, just some old popcorn.
I hung the small cross at the top of the tree, the light in their eyes was something to see. They all clapped their hands and said "Dear old dad, this is the best Christmas we've ever had."
So we all went to bed and slept really well, what happens tomorrow only God can tell. I'll try to find some food that is left, and leave it to God to do the rest.
With sleep in our eyes we awoke the next day, I could never explain it in a mortal way. Everywhere you looked there was golden light, it covered our home throughout the night.
And I knew from all the smiles left and right, that God had blessed us during the night. With the little gold cross carefully put away, We all bowed our heads and began to pray.
And we all thanked God for all that we had, nobody seemed to notice times were so bad. Next Christmas I pray for better food and toys, but never again will we know this joy.
A little gold cross, so shiney and bright, the only trimming on our tree--on Christmas night.
Upside Down
They told me "You can't write poems, poems today just don't rhyme, you can't write like us, you're just wasting your time."
So I read some of their poems, with no rhyme and no reason, they didn't make much sense, just gobbledy-gook, are you teasing?
So I said "I'll go then and see if I can, make a poem that doesn't rhyme, or make sense to any man. But it might take me some time."
So I sat on the floor and watched the sound, I heard the color that was swirling around, I felt the aroma of the cooking bread, and I smelled the colors, most of them red.
I reached for the smell and only felt air, I said "Oh no, there's something wrong there." So I sniffed at the floor and then I said, "Good grief, I'm just standing on my head."
So I jumped to my feet and declared then and there, that there was no color at all to the air, and there was no feel to the aroma of bread, and I'll be damned if I'll stay on my head.
So I resigned myself to the fact they are right, I can't write poems and I can't smell light. So I called Shel Silverstein and gave him the news, we are not poets so there's nothing to lose!
Lonely and Me
I was with lonely most all of my life,right up until the day that you came. You came in and lonely went out, and nothing was ever the same.
We danced, we sang, I learned to play, And nowhere could lonely be found. We had romantic nights and sunny days, We were the happiest couple around.
Every time you'd have to go away, Old lonely would knock on the door. Then you'd arrive and he'd hear you say, "Go away, don't bother us anymore."
With lonely gone we thought we should, Bring some little bundles of joy in. Now we have had all that we could, And our house is filled to the brim.
Old lonely had been gone away so long, I'd almost forgotten what he looked like. I hadn't even thought about him for years, To see him now would cause such a fright.
But what's this, the children are grown, Leaving home, each one as they get big. And now you're saying you're leaving our home, You'd rather be playing another gig?
Oh, hello dear, fancy seeing you here. Oh yes, the kids write, they are all fine. I'm doing fine too, in spite of the tears, I'm told it will all be well in time.
But you won't believe who came along, I was shocked to see him so brave. He walked right in, made himself at home, And it looks like he's going to stay.
Yep, that's right, lonely came back, Said he'd been right there the whole time. Guess he was peeking through the cracks, Watching this messed up life of mine.
So I invited him in, offered him a seat, It felt familiar to have lonely in. And he said he'd always stay next to me, That he would always be my friend.
So you'll excuse me if I have to go, And leave you with your new babe. But lonely and I have a book to read, And I need him to turn the page.
The Clock Said
The clock said one, go to sleep now, I said, just let me think this one through. The clock said ok, but just so you know, I'll remind you again at two.
The clock said, I thought I told you, to close your eyes and go to sleep at one. And now you've lost another hour, There's only four hours until dawn.
The clock said, oh my gosh, I told you to go to sleep at two. It's now three o'clock and you're still awake, What am I going to do with you?
The clock said, now I'm getting mad, I told you to go to sleep at three. Now here it is four with only two hours to go, No, wait--you don't need to get up to pee!
The clock said, ok, its five o'clock, And you didn't go to sleep at four. So why bother to go to sleep now, Just get up and walk the floor.
The clock said, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
The Greatest Sacrifice
Another American soldier died today....In an unpleasant land so far away....At home here he barely got attention....Another casualty was all they mentioned.
Americans reading the news thought, oh well....It was bound to happen, war is pure hell....Then they went back to their busy chores....To read any more would be just a bore.
But let me tell you something you may not know...When the call came, that man chose to go....He went for you and he went for me....He died in that terrible place to keep us free.
He left a wife and three kids back home....To be raised without daddy by his wife alone...His mother and father are deeply forlorn...This nasty war just took their first born.
Now they all live with a big hole in their heart...Not soothed by knowing he wanted this part....Yes he went by choice to do what he must...Because he loved his country, and he loved us.
So the next time you read one of these stories...Don't file it away quickly, just think of the glory....Of what this man did for us that was beyond nice...This man that made the greatest sacrifice.
THE CORONAVIRUS ARMAGEDDON
By V. Karen McMahon
I left the house today. First time in three months. That’s right, three months. It doesn’t feel that long to me; I lost track of time many years ago and am used to being alone and not going anywhere. But it’s amazing how different it is to self-impose a quarantine—because you’re too ill, or too depressed to go out, and nothing to go out to—and being told you can’t go out. It feels like jail. The concept that you CAN’T walk out that door, go wherever you choose, is too foreign to contemplate. Yet that is what we’ve been doing for three months now. We’re all finding out the hard way what it’s like for shut-ins, people who are so sick they never get out—and we don’t like it! But we have hopes of it ending someday—maybe. Many don’t have that hope.
We were hit with a virus from China, with theories ranging from accident to germ warfare being thrown around, and my guess is nobody now living will ever know exactly why it was done except a handful of people in China. But if you listen to tv or read about it, we are flat in the middle of Armageddon! I know the virus is real, and deadly—I know 2, and possibly 3 people that have died from it, and one of them a vital part of my everyday life. And, I’m in the highest category of risk factors. So of course I’m afraid, just like everyone, but would be a lot more afraid if I had been in a nursing home. So I try to hold onto something to be thankful for—and that’s it—I’m not in a nursing home.
But today, I had to get my car inspected, and was thrilled to find one garage that was still open. I don’t know if he was violating any of the “rules” or not—it didn’t matter, I had to have the damn car inspected. It was a strange event. It was raining—HARD—but stopped just as we left, and started again as soon as we got home. Talk about running between the raindrops!
I was surprised to see a few people out—not many, but some. I was surprised that some had on masks, but most didn’t (we did). My daughter followed me to the garage that did the inspection, we left it there and went to the bank. There was only one car ahead of me in the inspection lane, but the mechanic said we had time to go do the banking (he was not wearing a mask).
The bank was locked up tight, and as we stood there, we looked around. The town was deathly quiet, all the buildings shut up, parking lots completely empty. There was a note that said they were closed “indefinitely” but the drive-through was open. Since we needed a notary and I had called earlier to make sure one was there, we couldn’t use the drive-through. So my daughter called their number, and we were told the notary was in the bathroom and she’d be with us shortly. She finally came to the door, stepped outside in mask and gloves, and notarized the papers, holding them up against the wall to sign. The air was so still, no traffic sounds, it was eerie. I felt like we were filming a dooms-day movie.
God or Mother Nature, someone was being good to us. The torrential rains we’ve been having for 3 or 4 days now had stopped (we had both forgotten our umbrellas which shows how “out of it” we both were. This lockdown does strange things to everybody; you get into a habit of not doing, not thinking, not really being, and it’s difficult to do things we’ve done all of our lives that seemed so simple, like getting your car inspected, and finding a notary at the bank. It wore us both completely out, and we both laid down for a short nap (not an appropriate word since neither of us actually slept, just had what I call a “quiet time”).
So this will be life forever now? Gasping for breath behind a mask that may not even help? Living in close quarters with only immediate family as your contact? Only running out for short stints for things that still have to be done, in spite of the Armageddon being upon us? People out of work and starving to death, or committing suicide instead of dying from the virus? I wonder, did we all die and not aware of it, and this is hell? Might explain a lot of things!